Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Bad Attitude

I was tempted not to post this because it doesn't seen to provide many answers.  I'm mostly just venting my frustration.  But then I realized that it is good to remember that everything doesn't always go well and it isn't always easy but that is no reason to give up.  So here is my rambling post!

Our run last Friday.  Where am I?
I mentioned the other day that I went on a run and struggled the whole way but then ended up with my best time.  I've been thinking about this a lot the past few days trying to figure out what was going on.  It wasn't only that one run either.  The time before that I was not able to run the whole 5K.  I walked several times and felt terrible by the end of it.  I can't remember when I felt that bad during a run.  So when I again struggled this last time, I had doubts racing through my mind.  I went right back to my old pattern of thinking I couldn't do it.  There is something to be said for sticking with it and finishing but still, I'd like to feel better about the process. 
There I am - walking.  Even though I knew Bill had the camera, I just couldn't run.

Lately exercising in general has been a chore.  I did yoga today for the first time in a week and a half.  I can't remember the last time I did the elastic bands.  Mostly I've just been running a few times a week and doing a few general exercises like sit ups in between.  I have a feeling that is why I struggled with my last couple runs.  I already know that I feel better when I combine all the exercises but I just couldn't get myself to do it.

Another issue is that I'm spending too much time in my head.  I did finally get offered a job and I'm really excited about it but it was a long interview process on top of many months of being unemployed.  I think I spent too much time thinking (and stressing) about that instead of living each moment.  My natural comfort zone is sitting on my couch doing nothing and the second I let my guard down and allowed my mind to wander, I slipped right back into that bad habit. 
Friday night we went to the restaurant where Kayleigh works.

The third problem was something I could have prevented somewhat but not completely.  I ate too much restaurant food.  I never feel good when I eat out and over the past weekend I did it over and over.  My aunt was in town so we went out to eat with her on Friday night.  Then Bill had a race (cycling) in Milwaukee on Saturday so we ate lunch and dinner out.  Then on Sunday I ate my leftovers from the restaurants.  So by Sunday night, my body was in full revolt!
Before Bill's race.   Yes, Kay is wearing a coat.  It was cold!!

Actually I just thought of one more thing but this seems to be a constant in Chicago lately.  Our weather went from 95 degrees to 60 degrees in a day and now it is supposed to head back up towards 90 this weekend.  We've had heat, humidity, thunderstorms, and freezing wind all in one week.  That messes up my body and my mind.  And just as I typed this, it started pouring outside just to prove my point!

I'd like to find an easy solution to these recurring motivation problems but really there is only one answer.  I have to get up and just do something.  There isn't any magic to it.  As soon as I started my yoga this morning, I felt such a sense of peacefulness.  My runs (usually) make me feel proud and accomplished.  I just have to remember those good feelings and get off the couch!