Friday, May 17, 2013

Who am I?

I realized recently that I've really defined myself by my job.  If you were to ask me a year ago who I was, my first response would have been "an auditor".  I really enjoyed my job and I was good at it.  I am very proud of my success.  But if I define myself through my professional life, then who am I now?  It all falls apart now that I no longer do that job and there is a chance, as my job search stretches on, that I may never do it again.  Do I really want to be known forever as a former auditor? 

Several months ago I wrote down everything I could think of that I'm good at or enjoy doing.  I made the list one night while watching TV.  I didn't think about it too much and just wrote whatever came to mind.  My idea was that through identifying my strengths and what I enjoy, I may be able to think of new professions I could look into. 

I have 40 items on my list.  While auditing is actually on the list (because I really do think it is enjoyable!) I noticed something interesting.  There are several other things that contributed to me feeling right at home in that profession such as organization, time management, research, and logic puzzles.  It isn't the auditing that necessarily made me happy, it is the fact that it involved many of my interests. 

But that is only a small part of the list.  Most of the things have nothing to do with auditing and actually bring me more happiness.  So this seems like the perfect time to focus on those other items.  Last night I realized that is exactly what I have been doing.  I've been creating new recipes, exercising, reading, spending time outside just relaxing. 

The last couple weeks I've been focusing on moving past all the things I've accomplished in the past and just focusing on the person I want to be, not the job I used to do.  There are things that I can be proud of but it isn't the position that accomplished those things.  I did them using my strengths and abilities.  The main thing is that I want to be happy and that doesn't have to include auditing.
I was thinking about this and wondered what my husband's answer would be to "Who are you".  I didn't get a chance to ask him but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have anything to do with his job.  He would probably say a cyclist!  I did ask my daughter.  I asked, "What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of who you are".  Her answer was "funny".  I guess it is a good thing I listed laughing as something I enjoy doing!